Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
