is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize