so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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