Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
