whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
