I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
