nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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