just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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