no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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