Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize