I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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