my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
