That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
