his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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