Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
