I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize