I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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