i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
