careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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