yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
