So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
