Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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