Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
