If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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