we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
