Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
