the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
