your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
