why didn't you poke me back
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think my fart just growled at me.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize