so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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