Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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