everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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