Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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