Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize