big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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