She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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