billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
