I need help removing her.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
