I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
