Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Randomize
