I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
