you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
