Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
