that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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