You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
