You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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