So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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