Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Randomize
