I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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