Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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