Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
