Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
