At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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