New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
